Recently I have come across several people who are just downright mean and cruel. They think they are perfectly right in speaking to others in the manner they are using and are oblivious that they are hurting others with their words.
Let’s please try to keep these simple things in mind:
Feeling threatened? We all feel threatened sometimes. We’ve got a pet project or a favorite way of completing a certain task and then someone comes along and “takes” it from us. We feel angry, right? I know I have in the past. In the past few years I’ve learned to look beyond my nose and see that people are not trying to micromanage me or take things from me, they are trying to help. Perhaps they’ve found a more efficient method or they see that I seem overwhelmed and they want to take something “off my plate” but I get offended. If this happens to you – please, stop – take a deep breath – try to see the conversation and the actions from the other person’s perspective. Removing yourself from the situation allows you to see it more clearly.
Feeling taken advantage of? I used to commit to too many things and then I would feel overwhelmed. At some point someone would notice that I had too much to do so they would take on a task that I had been in charge of. Man, did that ever anger me! I would lash out and say really mean, thoughtless things to the person who was trying to help me because I did not stop to notice they were helping me! Please, remember that people cannot read your mind – they are trying to help you solve a problem in likely the only way that they know how. If you are feeling overwhelmed – tell someone – ask for help, but please do not just get angry at others because you have trouble saying “no!” That’s your stuff, your problem, not theirs!
Apologize! We all make mistakes and behave like jerks sometimes. What sets the friends apart from the rest of society is the friend’s ability to give a heart-felt apology. I am so sad that I lost a friend because of her inability to step back, see the action for what it was and then apologize for being mean and nasty. I am not the only casualty – there are others. Decisions were made because they needed to be made, by a group because she elected not to be in attendance. Her choice.
Life is too short for petty disagreements and cruel words to those who only want to protect and promote you and your best interests. Take the time to talk and listen. A dialogue is the best remedy for hurt feelings, if the other person is willing to participate in a loving, caring, open and honest and gentle conversation.
Peace dear friends. Let’s please try to be kind to one another…